Toronto Pride 2009

Monthsary!

to all those who had doubts, this post is for you =)

below is an email i sent to one of my friends after our third week, with some of the details disguised.

we first "met" online. both of us were free on good friday, so we decided to meet for real. when i talked to him on the phone, his english was so good i couldn't resist asking, "[taga-X] ka ba?" the answer: yes. at hindi lang yun, [Y course] pa. 2002. this i learned within the first five minutes of our EB. i told him [Y] din ako, and my brother's his batchmate. he asked me who my brother is, and i said, "hindi ba obvious sa mukha?" he took a good look at me and guessed correctly! my gus, kabarkada niya pala yung mga high school classmates ng brother ko. ex niya pa yung isa =)

anyway, we got along so well talking about [X] stuff that we decided to meet again on black saturday. syempre fireworks na. and then we went to the easter vigil at the church in [X]! the next day, we met yet again. naglatag ng banig sa damuhan sa high school, and after a few hours of more conversation, he asked me, "ok lang ba if i call you my boyfriend?" naisip ko na rin yun kasi nga we seemed to be very compatible. so after clarifying what he meant by "boyfriend," which took quite a bit of time, we basically agreed na kami na... on easter sunday =)

we've been together every weekend since then. this past weekend, we were actually together for two nights--walang uwian. the only problem is that i'm leaving on may 30, which he knew from the beginning. but we've been discussing LDR, so i guess he's up for the challenge. he doesn't seem to think that december is so far away, and he's been encouraging me to finish my phd na, so i can come back for good next year. monthsary namin on may 12, but i think we'll celebrate our anniversary--if we last that long--on easter sunday.

Same Sex Wedding Memories

the letter below was written by a classmate from many years ago. i have obtained permission to reproduce it on my blog because it gives me hope that, someday, there will be nothing unusual about a same sex wedding.

what made their wedding even more unusual was that they were, as my classmate observed, "a same sex couple who were married by a female minister, while wearing traditional Filipino garments, in a very Jewish ceremony. The world is indeed changing... getting smaller... moving forward... well, at least here in Canada."

Dear All,

Thanks for all the warm wishes and congratulatory messages you've sent. As most of you know, B and I got married last December 3 [2006]. It was a really nice wedding and I guess the only thing that could've made it better was if all of you were there. It was really beautiful, but I guess that is what everyone would say about their own wedding. So, I hope you indulge me a bit as I share with you, in my very biased opinion, what is probably the best wedding ever.

We got married at F and A's house in the suburbs of Toronto. F and A, are friends of B's from his University days. A was also B's business partner for many years. Well, the house of A and F is very beautiful, and that night it was even made more magical as the snow the night before had blanketed their front lawn. Billy Idol was right in saying that, "It [was] a nice day for a white wedding."

The person who officiated the service was B's sister, L, who is a minister of the United Church of Canada. We got married in front of A and F's fireplace—under a canopy called the hoo-pah (I apologize to my Jewish friends as I don't know how to spell it correctly). This canopy is supported by four posts which were held up by two of B's closest friends, T and Jo, and his two nieces, E and J. We both liked the idea of the canopy as it symbolizes the happy home the couple will be making, which is open on all sides to welcome family and friends. The posts symbolize love, that which is shared by the couple, and also the love emanating from all those surrounding them which serves as the foundation of their life together.

We wore barongs throughout the ceremony, and for those of you who aren't familiar with what these are, barongs are the traditional formal wear of Filipinos. It was a very intimate and meaningful ceremony as we only had around 26 guests. L, B and I put together the service, even writing our own vows, which made everything more personal. The whole affair, though, was organized by our wedding planners Jo, F and T. Jo, though, deserves to take most of the credit. It all came together so beautifully. If any of you are getting married soon, have a gay man organize it :)

Anyway, guests started arriving at 6 pm, and hors d'oeuvres were served. Wine and drinks were also served by the bartenders, A and F's 12 year-old daughter, Fa, and her friends M, Ja and Z. For those of you who have gotten married, I guess you do know it can be a nerve-wracking experience. So, to help me calm down, I had a shot of whiskey and several glasses of wine before the service.

This was well and good as I was really relaxed by the time the service started at 7 pm. Unfortunately, I had decided to memorize my vows, and the alcohol made me a wee bit forgetful. It was good that B went first, as it helped me remember them. He had written his vows on a cue card, but due to nerves, he missed a line, and had to double back, which made L and everyone else laugh. My attempt at reciting my vows was even worse as I ad libbed my way through it. I think I was able to get my message across, but it was a bit hilarious to see one of the grooms struggle (even though that was me), and that made everyone laugh a bit more. When it came to the exchange of rings, L had wisely offered me a cue card, to which I responded, "Yes, I will take that." That elicited more laughter from our friends and family.

I think one of the things that made the wedding special for us was the fact that we could laugh during the service and that everyone else was laughing with us. It's nice to start your life together as a couple with so much laughter and love surrounding you. And there were so many memorable moments during that night. After the ceremony, B and I were lifted on chairs (see picture) which is again part of Jewish tradition. We then danced around in a circle to the tune of "Mazel Tov" which again is Jewish. Neither B nor I are Jewish, but F and A are.

I guess I relish the fact that we are a same sex couple who were married by a female minister, while wearing traditional Filipino garments, in a very Jewish ceremony. The world is indeed changing... getting smaller... moving forward... well, at least here in Canada. But I guess what really put a smile on my face was the fact that there were four 12-year old girls there who were growing-up in a world where such a marriage is possible, and that they have no biases or prejudices against anyone who is of a different color, religion or sexual orientation. This was wonderfully verbalized by T during his toast. And the girls even made a toast for us... which was so sweet and touching. Weddings are supposed to be moments of love and hope... and I am just so happy that my wedding was so full of both.

There are a couple more memorable moments I would like to share with all of you... one was when my amazing mother-in-law, V, came-up to me and called me "son." I replied the only way I could by calling her "Mom." And then we hugged. There was also this light-hearted moment with B's niece, E who is around 7 years younger than me. I went up to her and said, "I guess you are officially my niece now," which made us break out in laughter and embrace one another.

Oblation Run 2007

the videos are self-explanatory =)

hilom

hilom has already been featured by manilagayguy, but he left out a few things =)

i've taken a few pkb members on tours of massage parlors in quezon city (after learning about their locations from a tour led by hrh wobbles), but i never actually got a massage on any of those trips because i wasn't really interested. and the one time i did try to get a massage, i asked for a masseur who knew what he was doing because i really wanted a massage. but what i got was a perfunctory massage, and i could sense that he was just waiting for me to ask for something extra. never mind, i wasn't interested.

well, last monday, i tried this new place called hilom. if you don't know it's there, you'll miss it. you might say it's hiding in plain view next to moomba restaurant near quezon avenue. the first thing i noticed was that, unlike all the other places i had visited, this one not only looked classy, it was almost as if i had stepped into the old zen spa in megamall (later fort bonifacio). the ambience was definitely not cheap, even though the price for a regular massage (500) was cheaper than one at wensha, whose facilities i tolerate only because my regular masseur is so good.

anyway, the place also has an aquarium where you choose the guy you want, and then you are led back to the waiting area, where you are served tea, while the masseur fixes everything required for your massage. (by the way, the masseurs wear uniforms, but not the sexy kind.) you will then be led to the locker area, where you are given a robe and you leave everything else behind, just like in other first-rate spas i've been to.

the cubicle is tastefully lit and appointed, like the rest of the place. unfortunately, i'm not very good at telling stories after i take off what i'm wearing, so i'll just leave the rest to your imagination =)

i will say, though, that i was satisfied with the massage. it wasn't the kind i'd get at wensha, but i was really turned on, especially when i realized what was rubbing against my foot!